October 10, 2000

MY NAME IS....


Running a search on Google.com for my own name, (now how many of you narcissists do that? Admit it now.) I stumbled upon a site that gave surface-level descriptions of baby names. The following is reprinted from the site. My comments in orange.

Lionel
http://www.kabalarians.com/male/lionel.htm

The name of Lionel places a limitation on your life because you rarely deviate from normal routine in order to try something new. You prefer situations where you have stability and the opportunity to make slow step-by-step progress, preferably in a technical field.

Ah yes. The status quo. Let's not rock the boat, mateys. Routine is good. Too much adventure is stressful after all. Although a spontaneous adventure now and then is rather appealing...

Procrastination and lack of self-confidence restrict your success. Self-depreciation and sensitivity cause you to take a rather negative approach to many things, and to be overly pessimistic.

I can work on it next week. I'm never gonna be rich and famous anyway. Why hurry? Hey, I'm not being pessimistic, I'm being realistic.

You enjoy associating with others, and would not be happy living or working alone. This name makes you quite dependent upon others, and you find it difficult to face issues or important decisions without relying upon others for help.

Do I wear the black jeans or the blue jeans, dear?

Your name robs you of positivity, causing you to be too easily influenced and easily led. You find it difficult to say "no" and mean it. This name is not conducive to good health, and tends to engender the desire for the wrong foods, for example, sweets and heavy, starchy foods. You could suffer with problems relative to constipation or the fluid functions such as growths, intestinal problems, swelling of the legs and ankles or over-stoutness.

What is that thing growing on my ass? A... WHAT???????????

Zivan
http://www.kabalarians.com/male/zivan.htm

The first name of Zivan creates an intense personal nature. Your feelings and emotional desires are strong and consequently you are an individual, determined, strong-willed person. Your creative nature and ambition drive you to pursue success to the extent that you jeopardize your personal well-being.

What? It's 4 AM already? And my first draft isn't perfect yet! I will sleep when it is DONE!

There is a tendency for you to dominate others. You are too certain of yourself, and you are not open to the views of others or responsive to their desires or needs. Also, this name does not incorporate qualities that enable you to be diplomatic and to compromise.

I will do what I feel is right, your excellency. And damn you, too.

In all your work and activities you are inclined to be rather unsystematic and disorderly. These characteristics spoil stability, progress, and accumulation, even though you may put forth intense effort.

Where is that ballpen? I can't write without that ballpen!!!!!!!!!

Tension and frustration exact a heavy toll on your peace of mind and nervous system. You are often preoccupied with the desires and demands of the moment. Temper and indulgence could become serious problems in your life.

The article is due tomorrow. I want choc-nut. I want choc-nut. What article? Oh, the hell with the article, I want my choc-nut!

Your health could suffer through disorders affecting the nervous system. Tension centering in the head could affect the eyes, ears, sinuses, and teeth.

Suddenly, I KNOW why my tonsils and my ears are conspiring against me.

Do you think the name analysis is true?
How true? 100% true? 50%? 25% true?

I'd like to know what you think.
Use that email addy I have down there: Throw me a line.

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