may 8, 99

EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SUCCESS I LEARNED IN A ROCK BAND
( just don't ask me if I feel successful...)
10 points which may help you to get ahead in this dog-eating world:

1. WHO ARE YOU?
Like any new product, you have to know how to position your band. What music do you play and how old are you? Are you projecting a certain image? Are you playing music that kids your age may want to hear? Are you creating a unique sound or merely copying? Be objective here, who will pay to listen to you? If you know this, you'll know where you can play to reach your target audience.

Before you can sell yourself, you must know yourself. What makes you unique? Do you stink after basketball, can you recite the 216 numbers of pi, do you look like Kuya Germs' toupee? What can you do? What are your unique selling points? Before the world hires you or looks your way and says, there goes the greatest man since Adolf Hitler, the world must sit up and notice that you are unique.

2. BEFORE YOU EVEN PLAY YOUR FIRST GIG, YOU GOTTA WORK, BABY
You have to create awareness, a buzz about your band. If you sit around waiting like Juan Tamad, nothing will come your way, especially not the screaming groupies who will raid your dressing rooms so you can autograph their bellybuttons. I mean, if you don't spread the word that you have this band and it makes _____ (insert fave band's name here) sound like crap in comparison, no one will know about you.
___ And if you don't audition and impress the hell out of the venue's manager and bartenders, you get no gigs. No gigs, no money, no groupies. Simple! You must scout for the bars/venues that are into your kinda music, get to know the owners/managers--- in short, schmooze as if your life depends on it. Because, actually it DOES depend on it. Get a date for the audition. After the audition, if they like you, try to get a fair price for your services.

See, opportunities don't walk up to you and bite you on the ass for you to notice. You have to MAKE the opportunities. You may be Johann Sebastian Bach on the organ or Steve Vai on the guitar, but if you don't get out of your stinky little room to get that gig, you'll forever be a nobody--- whining about how talented you are but how you never got any breaks. Boo hoo. No persistence, no success. Find your niche, make your claim.

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. TALENT will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. GENIUS will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. EDUCATION will not; the world is full of educated failure. Keep Believing. Keep Trying. PERSISTENCE and DETERMINATION alone are omnipotent." ----- Calvin Coolidge

3. BRING IN THA CROWD!
Bars will hire your band and record companies will offer recording contracts if they see that you're pulling in the crowd. It means that people pay to see you, and look specifically for the music you play--- ergo, they may pay good money to buy a CD with your funky faces plastered on the cover. While you're thinking about the notes you're hitting, these business-minded club owners and oily (from hair gel) recording company people are thinking REVENUES. Therefore always invite as many friends as you can. After all, it's a show--- and what's the use of your incredible hype if you can't elicit some sort of positive response from the audience? Dancing, moshing, pogoing in place, doing the two-step, tapping their feet, bobbing their heads, even vomiting on each other for fun--- all these are good signs.

Similarly, your net worth as an individual shoots up when you can show to potential employers (for example) that your work (whatever it may be) has been praised by people whose last names aren't the same as yours. ("Gosh, his professor in Physics thinks he will be the next Nobel prize winner... we have to get him to work in our company!") Get the praises, get the written recommendations, give good impressions to the people who can attest to your talents... it's just like bringing in your own crowd for a gig. After all, they're not FORCED to be there, they just have to be informed.

The next 3 points which may help you to get ahead in this dog-eating world:

4. IF YOU MAKE 'EM SCREAM FOR MORE...
Like good sex, you will find that the audience will give back as much as you give them. So if you serve up a slipshod performance, don't be surprised if they sit around smoking and wondering if the orgasm will ever come so that they can get up and scream in ecstasy. Believe me, the audience will know when you forget a lyric or smudged a guitar solo, because they'll see it in your face. So, pass it off with attitude. Deliver a performance! Otherwise just sell them your demo tape so they can go home and listen to it...

The world is the same. If you don't demand excellence from yourself, don't expect to get it from others, baby.

5. ...THEY WILL COME BACK.
If you are actually able to make an audience scream for more, you'll find you've created loyal followers who will troop to your gigs precisely because you play the music they wanna hear. Just remember to keep the set fresh. Learn/make more songs, don't just give them the same set for 2 months in a row.

This is called building brand loyalty, friends, where YOU are the brand. Service your customers well and they will be back. Just make sure your brand is consistently excellent, or they might just get swayed by the your NEW, IMPROVED rivals.

6. NO PRACTICE? YOU'LL SUCK!
Even before you can dream of an Araneta Coliseum gig with an audience clamoring for you to climb onstage and start noodling on your guitar, you've got to be able to play,man. And you'll never play well, individually or in a group, if you don't make time for practice. One rule here: you wanna play kick-ass guitar? Practice till your fingers bleed.
___ Add professionalism to this practice shit. If you appear for practice an hour late, you're stupid. You're wasting your time and your bandmates' time. Go become a solo DJ instead of joining a band, dude.

Again, it is the search for excellence that separates the mediocre from the awesome. If practice/improvement of self is deemed a waste of time, you may as well put a gun to your head. I mean, what? You wanna go thru life being the SAME, MEDIOCRE, piece of CRAP you already are or do you wanna get someplace? Life is FLUX. No flux, no life.

BACK TO TOP