march 22, 1999
written for the retirement of our band, Anima

ALL THEY DID WAS DANCE

Nothing’s wrong, my days are long
I lumber thru them without song,
The sadness held at bay,
The longing here to stay
Every pregnant day

It treats me like a drunken nanny
Drinking Cuervo in the alley,
Keeping me around,
I never make a sound
I bruise while on the ground.

All the matching pairs of grief,
Homilies both long and sweet,
I hang it out to dry
Sun is in the sky
A time to bid goodbye

To all the little aches we’ve gathered
Thru these years of bitch and banter
Nothing stays the same
Every bitter game
Must end or be renamed.

Does anyone need music pieces?
Bitter song that never ceases?
Everything’s for sale.
Fellowship’s grown stale
Who wants to check his mail?

No one lifts his pinky finger
Windows Start key holds the trigger
To memories that rust.
Music was the lust,
Now pianos gather dust.

Butterflies that filled the stomach
Talent fees that bit the bucket,
All behind us now
Like tumors now carved out
Like sweat dry on the brow

Magic filled this one-time studio
Painted wings and plastic haloes
On each member’s head
We woke the living dead
Now silence reigns instead.

Maybe gold will fill tomorrow,
Maybe lyrics will sound hollow,
Will we ever know
If we never go?
Time is never slow.

Morning beckons, bus may leave you
Flights to lands beyond your view
Time for quick goodbyes.
Linger…and you cry.
Leave without a sigh.

Count out every hard-earned blessing
Time now to dissolve the wedding,
At least we had the chance.
To non-commit romance.
To get the crowds to dance.

Count out every hard-earned blessing
Time now to dissolve the wedding,
We took the stubborn stance
Pretend we had a chance,
But all they did was dance.

All they ever did was dance.

March 25, 99

THE LAST ANIMA GIG

And so it is a new day. And ANIMA is over and done with. And I have yet to feel the loss. I guess, I’ve lived with ANIMA for so long, I don’t think it’ll ever feel like loss.

FREEDOM bar was so full last night, it was a joy to behold. We were up to our eyeballs in people. It was just weird how my HS classmates didn’t show up except for John and Xandro--- probably due to my short notice email. But a lot of other friends were there, some Philo majors, friends of Ronnie, 2 groups of Bukas Palad…and Sheerin’s and Andre’s relatives and friends.

Cholo (our former male lead singer) was able to join us in the 2nd set and sing one of our original songs “You Came to Me” and a cover (“Whenever I Call You Friend”) before he had to go. Boy, his voice has changed. He has a second growth in his throat and needs yet another operation. And on his radio show, his voice has gone up a notch.

First set we laid our upbeat songs, Raincloud, Fast Love, You On My Mind…. The audience was sorta noncommital about our beats, they didn’t respond much, maybe because the songs were probably unfamiliar to them? Ah well.

Our second set was quite a refreshing breather for us, we played all originals… some of them, played for the first time in several years. but all went well. What an eclectic set of originals that was. The new wave-y Vigil, next to the heavy Kulang, next to the samba-esque Together. Audience response was surprisingly GOOD. Maybe we should’ve been doing this all along.

Third set was the usual, mellower, soulful music, with guests from the audience singing along. We ended with the usual rowdy renditions of Love Shack and Pride… It was a good night. Just tiring but exhilarating nonetheless…

At our final prayer, our manager Sherry and our female lead singer Sheerin were both getting very setimental. Truth be told, I didn’t feel anything much. I guess it’s because I wasn’t allowing myself to feel? Maybe I was just too tired of all the bickering and the half-hearted commitments.

Weird how life changes things. After the prayer, we parted with hugs, Sheerin was sobbing. Us guys, we were tearless but sad. We parted ways happily enough.

What happens now? Where does the music float off to after a group splits up? Your guess is as good as mine.

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