TRAGEDY ABOUNDS
(OR... BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE)

It's nothing new. Violence is everywhere. Shit happens. But sometimes you just never think it'll happen to you...or your close friends. Peruse the most recent deluge of e-mail from my high school classmates' mailing list (posted here, without their consent) regarding recent experiences with assault and violence. And remember ...this could happen to you too.

1
Hey dudes, after reading about my December Suck-sess story in the AcidPit, find out about the latest installment here:
___and for those who still haven't checked out my twisted, sicko
website, go to: <http://acidpit.tripod.com>
___rah, rah Standards! (doesn't that sound LAME?)
---acid42

2
Tang'na, mag-ingat ka pa rin. Hindi pa tapos 'yan. Betsy's demand seems to complicate things now more than ever since money's gotten very much into the mix and the urgency scale just went up a notch for Philip.
---Bloo

3
i must echo bloo's sentiments on the matter. not to sound paranoid, but manila is not a very large city, and if this guy's as kupal as you've described him, then he's probably seething at your apparent return to good graces. keep your ass covered as well. as for me, i was able to avert what could have been a really nasty situation (it was actually nasty in the first place, but could've easily become much fucking worse).
___ i got pushed off my bike at 2:15am thurs, biking home from school by a big black mother-fucker who was accompanied by 3 other big black mother-fuckers. they were crossing a street just outside school and were going to cross my path. while my inner being was screaming danger, i couldn't just turn around because there was a divider in the road, and if i did turn, they would've sensed my fear and might've chased me. so instead i tried to play it cool, veered off to one side and slowed down to let them cross ahead of me.
___ one of them had already crossed and was on my right, and i was passing them by already, keeping my distance. then the fucker turned and ran towards me and before i know it, pushed me!!! i fell on my left side with my bike, and landed on my left wrist, smashing my watch and ripping my coat. i saw another guy coming up as if to kick me, but he just jumped over me. i was shouting "don't hurt me" thinking all the while that fuck, that was it, i was going to buy it.
___ i stood up as fast as i could and jumped on my bike and ran away as fast as i could, and they didn't chase me. fuck, they were just dicking with me, and that enraged me even more. so here i was, bleeding from some cuts with my left wrist and my right shoulder hurting like hell, with my handlebars twisted running away from these bastards. shit, i was soooo mad, and humiliated, and relieved that i got off easy. they weren't out to mug me i guess, and i was so glad to put some distance in between us.

i got home safely enough, running every light i saw (at 2:30am all the roads were clear anyway). i was shaking, shocked, all the extremes of emotion. i cleaned myself up and checked damage, iced my wrist and shoulder. i felt like shit, but eventually calmed down enough to sleep.
___ fortunately, my check up next day revealed no serious damage to either my wrist and shoulder. they were both sprained.
___ needless to say, i'm taking the train these days, as i have to work really late nights at studio. i know i can get on my bike again soon, i just want to get over the initial trauma. i'm playing safe, of course. i am indeed thankful that i'm still alive and well, wiser, i guess.

as for those assholes, may they (and all the rest who torment us in various ways) may they fucking rot in whatever is their version of personal hell for the rest of eternity.
___ so there, just had to let off some steam.
---jaffs

4
OK, so now I have this urge to let off steam too!

I went to South Beach, Florida with my good friend Adrian from Australia. South Beach is the Art Deco section of Miami, made famous by the murder of Gianni Versace by Fil-Am Andrew Cunanan, and also by the Delano Hotel which if I'm not mistaken is designed by the same people who did the Paramount in NYC and SkyBar in LA: very airy bohemian, lots of fabulous people. If you watched The Birdcage, the "strip" was featured there. There are fantastic clubs in the area, and gorgeous women and men walking around at all hours of the day in various stages of undress.
___ ANYWAY, Adrian and I decide to watch a movie which is only showing in this movie theater about 20 blocks away from the center of town. We get out of the cab, and it's a pretty sad place surrounded by parking lots and a Denny's. After the movie we are unable to find a cab, and it dawns on us that this is probably not the kind of neighborhood where cabs want to pick up fares. We stand near a bus stop where it is well-lit, trying to think of what to do. It is very dark. There is something like a highway in front of us, and lots of weeds and overgrown palm trees.
___ I see a group of Latino youths, no, a gang of Latino thugs approaching about a block away. There are about six young men, and a couple of women (very cheap, with foot-high hair and huge faux-gold dangling earrings). Then I realize that Adrian and I are dressed in our South Beach club clothes: me in a tight knit shirt that barely covers my arms, pseudo-Issey Miyake polyester blend stretch pants, and black workers' boots, arms akimbo and smoking a cigarette. Adrian, who is tall and well-built, in a black muscle shirt, black pants, and his worn Pradas, looking romantically at the stars.
___ The gang comes near us and one woman yells, want some weed? Adrian whispers to me, what's weed? (note: he grew up in a sheltered suburb of Melbourne). I start to get clammy hands and insanely start looking around for the equivalent of the Barangay Tanod. THEN one of the thugs yells, Hey, are you faggots? (to myself: no, the Village People are on vacation), and Do you like sucking each others' **** (to myself: what I would give for a hand granade).
___ Adrian, sweet misled dear, says we can fight them (WHATEVER). Then I see that one of them has pulled out something that glints under the streetlight. It is a knife, but really is big enough to qualify as a machete. I whisper, On the count of three, run. Then I grab Adrian's wrist and start running across the highway without even counting. They start to run after us. We move in slow motion.

Deus ex machina: a cab almost hits us, but stops. We jump in and it speeds off, the gang feet away still shouting expletives and gesticulating. We are shaking and somewhat sore from the sprint, but thankfully in one piece. We don't speak until we get to Liquid, and in the club order double martinis, no olives.
___ Lessons: The world is not a nest. Stay in your little ghettoes, with like people. If you venture out, go on a package tour. And wear sensible shoes.
---Ramones

5
Tang inang shit! (echoing the colorful words of one of the finest photojournalists in Manila)
I've always believed this, well maybe not always but sure as hell SOMETIMES, that each and every Standard should carry a gun. And that we should be the only ones in Manila (and at Harvard and wherever the hell Jaffs is) to have them. Not that we'd go around offing people. Only bright, responsible and hella nice guys should carry firearms and, well, that's us.
___ Maybe in the near future we could clone Baddy C. or, better yet, one of his buddyguards. Each of us would have our own personal first line of defense, so we wouldn't have to pull guns out ourselves. The Baddy C. clones would be armed with sticks.
___ Jaffs, acid42, lahat tayo, ingat lang.
Nagmamahal,
---Karlkro

6
karlkro, i'm in chicago, which is obviously still a fucking racially-segregated city, and i'm not fucking surprised why.
___i wouldn't carry a piece though, too easy for something to go wrong. the clones sound okay though.
---jaffs

7
YEAH, YOU MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY SHOOT YOUR GOOD ARM WITH YOUR SPRAINED ONE!
---MHON

8
if i remember correctly, even non-citizens are allowed to possess (at least) one long arm and one handgun.
---Aids

9
not to belittle Jappy's plight but the idea of Baddy C. clones all in army fatigues sure made me laugh. (no offense meant Buddy :) good thing you got out of there quickly, Jaffs.
---Beeng

10
Well Jaffs, first of all, I'd like to say that the politically correct terminology for those individuals is "pumpkin colored maternal sodomizers". I had a similar experience in NYC on New Year's Eve of 1996 wherein I was assaulted for no apparent reason by 3 "pale colored
puting basura" - types. All I'm saying is be careful and try to carry something like mace or pepper spray if you're gonna be on the streets at such an ungodly hour (that goes for all of you who walk the streets late at night - wherever the hell you are Chicago, Boston, Manila etc.).
___Clones...? I don't need no stinking clones!!!! But if Baddy wants to show up also and kick some ass, he's more than welcome.
___ Let me reiterate that guns should only be for those who know how to use them. So, why don't we all go to the shooting range for some target practice? I'm serious! I know a little bit and maybe answer a few questions. How about a Standards trip to the shooting range with Jonny? Let me know. I'm getting my license (to carry not kill) any day now.
___ Hey but wouldn't you all rather get laid than foment violence in this already self-destructing world? In the words of the felonious Rodney King, "...can't we all just get along..."?
___ HORNY, HORNY, HORNY !!!!!!! I love that song!
---Jonny

11
Okay ha... now the circle is complete. Obi-Wan has taught us well. Hindi na lang sex ang pinag-uusapan natin ngayon... violence na rin. Sex and violence!! Yahoo!!
___Sige, we can add 'shooting range' to our list of pre-homecoming gimmicks. I'm in.
---Bloo

12
everyone in the class who has been assaulted thus far has my sympathy. kill!!! kill!!! kill!!!
___as a break from the insanity: FYI the paramount and skybar were (co-)designed by philippe starck of alessi (of the stainless steel orange juicer which looks like some martian tripod) check it out. no naked chicks on this one.
---Jaffs

13
I'm not kidding, but it is quite interesting (in a Twilight Zone kinda way) to note that I was headed for a party in the PARAMOUNT hotel, that night I was assaulted in 1996. Whoa (can someone play some twilight zone music now?)!!!
___You don't need to clone Joan Severance, she's a love goddess!!!
---Jonny

14
ANYWAY, how was the movie?
---Mhon

15

Karlo wrote:
"I've always believed this, well maybe not always but sure as hell SOMETIMES, that each and every Standard should carry a gun... Maybe in the near future we could clone Baddy C. or, better yet, one of his buddyguards..."

Ah yes, guns would be nice.I often think back over my soap-opera life and wonder how things would be different if I'd had a gun in my bag somewhere. The thought strangely exhilarates me. Although I do like the Baddy clone idea even more.
___Now if we could get bodyguards with Baddy's strength and pizzazz but who looked like Alyssa Milano, we wouldn't have Jonny-boy emailing all of us and saying he was horny horny horny... hehehe.
---acid42

16
if you really want to carry guns, and you're not exactly the killing type, you can load them with rubber (yes, rubber) bullets. or you can just aim carefully at certain incapacitating anatomical parts, such as the brachial plexus in the arm or the testicles.
---Aids

17
But did you know? Fred Caubang dislikes guns. He likes using hand to hand weapons like knives.
___ Baddy has pizzazz? What are you talking about? He's got pecs sure, but pizzazz???
___ Big question, if I had an Alyssa Milano look-alike created from Baddy's genes, would I fuck her? Would YOU fuck her? Them's the tough questions you have to think about.
---Karlkro

18
Pizzas siguro. The way I remember Baddy, he does have a belly sticking out like most of us.And Alyssa Milano with Baddy's genes? I think Baddy'd rather put his genes IN Alyssa Milano.
---Bloo

19
Jonny is right! Guns should only be for those who know how to use them. So let's go know. Sabi diba ni G.I.Joe "...and knowing is half the battle." Combat shooting tayo tapos girlie bar. Or, let's just all get laid with our Baddy clones that look like Alyssa Milano.
---Karlkro

20
Damn. if you're going to go that far, why not just CLONE alyssa milano????
---beeng

21
Don't be silly, Beeng. Nobody can clone humans yet.
---Karlkro

22
You're right. Nobody can clone humans. Yet. But we can clone sheep. Now if the sheep looked like Alyssa Milano... BAA RAM EWE!
___Something from Billy Conally's live shows (that comediain wid the thick Scots accent): "We Scots like to position the sheep over the edge of a cliff because it makes them push back harder."
"BAAAA!"
"Och, I loov it when ya talk darrty, me wee beauty!"
---Johowell

23
HAHAAHAHAHAHA!!! Johowell, you SHEEP HERDER!
---Karlkro

24
You sick twitch. I guess it's better than getting an Alyssa clone that looks like Baddy. Quitthisshit!
---Mhon

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